Pieces of the Puzzle

Ahh! The curses of a weekend. Entertaining outta-town guests, compulsory sight-seeing for the nth time, bar-hoping, getting sloshed and migraines, watching a Tamil movie and soulful regrets, eating crap and stomach upsets.

My weekends have always been busier than my weekdays as far as I can remember. I correct myself- since the time I moved to Chicago. Hubby and I have been hosting guests every weekend. Friends, friend’s friends, friends wives, friend’s dads, not-so-friends, out-of-blue-friends, long lost friends. Its not even funny anymore.

Where were all these people when I lived in Gainesville? Did they not like me then? I figured, it’s the place and not me. Chicago being the big ass city. People of all kinds- some come for conferences, some come for orientations, some for sightseeing, some on a layover, a teeny few come actually to see me and then of course while they are at it, why not check out the city?! They better start giving me discounts at the Sears observatory deck, the Signature Lounge at the 95^th floor of Hancock, the blues bars, museums (yeesh!), boat rides…

We’ve have had our share of really cool people and extremely quirky ones. Here’s a short list of Weird Guests we’ve had in the past.

Gropy Despo: Brings a white-trash girl friend who is twice his size. Tattoos & piercing covering every inch of exposed body parts. She has many dads, moms and siblings she hasn’t met. One brother in jail and she thinks he is better off there as he gets food. GD and this ‘creature’ make out on our couch!

The Uncivilized: Never met him before. Happens to ‘know’ a person we ‘know’. Sings hideously all the time. Washes his undies and asks me to fold them when they dry up. Probably must thank God I didn’t have to wash them.

Exterminator: Pours coffee on our couch (yeah the same one) and breaks our closet door (wonder what he wanted from the closet). Also detaches a tile from kitchen floor and kills the microwave.

The Picky Devourer: Orders breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner (obv. Not from outside). Has very specific preferences. Is allergic to most food. Is a Pepsi person and cannot have the Coke I bought.

Over Enthusiastic Tourist: Keeps an alarm set to 5 am. Has come armed with an agenda for the day that covers stuff I would do in a year. Doesn’t feel too bad to wake up the hosts. Forget breakfast.. forget bath.. just drive me to this museum.. Quick!

We are booked till October 24^th. The only times we don’t have guests is when we leave the city on vacation.

I miss the weekends I used to know. I miss lounging out in the couch - doing nothing.  And yeah, I disinfected the couch.