Stark hues & Bare shadows
Background
- My oil-painting class has been quite a time pass. Painting oranges and grapes in color, oranges and grapes in black & white, oranges and grapes in brown & yellow… I understand the idea of making us proficient in interpreting color schemes, but to tell you the truth… I had developed an allergy to the above mentioned fruits. I can paint oranges in my sleep, still have difficulties with the grapes though. So when our instructor announced that we would be having a live model for the next class (that was yesterday), I imagined a woman/man wearing a grape costume. At least they wont be sitting lifeless on a table.Yesterday’s class, 7 pm- ‘He- the model’ was there. No grape costume. Actually no costume!! Raised my left eyebrow. Hadn’t been warned. Looked around to catch other student’s eyes. Giving suppressed looks. Everyone acting mature. Setting up their easels like there were fruits in front of them. I did the same. Trying not to look stupid. Never been in the same room with a naked stranger. Mind you, I am not complaining. Just a little taken aback. Gained internal composure in 2 minutes. Looked more closely. Hey, I have to paint him dammit! One has to look. It was all there, fresh to be painted. Boy! that’s the biggest.. er.. equipment I ever saw. How does he carry them around? ‘He- the model’ didn’t seem half as flustered. Now if the women out there think I saw George Clooney nude, let me describe this ‘He- the model’. Flabby and greying. Wondered if they got him cheap.
Anyway, the instructor gave pointers (literally pointing to his manhood) on how to paint the shadows and shapes (as he decently put it). I was asked to get a closer look as I wasn’t getting it right. Why do men have complicated body parts?! It was a little embarrassing. I hoped ‘He- the model’ wouldn’t want to see his portrait. He might have been insulted as I placed his leg in such a way the it would cover the essential parts. That saved me a lot of paint, effort and dignity.
3 lessons learnt-
- I don’t think I can become a nude painter. You know what I mean.
- I prefer nude females to males. No, you don’t know what I mean. I just feel women have a better body, kinda pleasing to the eye. Nude women are such a turn on.
- I still don’t wanna paint oranges and grapes for a while.
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| Clarity December 14, 2003 05:59 PM PST  Killers dont leave a choice They just follow their voice. Any form of death you choose will not make the knot any loose. Would have loved to continue this little game. When u doubted my smile, I had to end the same. | ||
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| Assasin December 14, 2003 08:49 AM PST If getting killed really is fun What form of death would you like? A slow, piercing, painful one? Or something quick, with just a strike? | ||
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| alpha October 2, 2003 06:40 AM PDT Thanks Matrix ji! u r pretty funny too. I prefer "painting" nude females..just easier!! | ||
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| Matrix October 1, 2003 10:18 PM PDT U made it!!! I didnt get the part "nude females to nude males" tryin 2 b suggestive madame??? u r hilarious..oops mean ur blog is. ..save dignity, effort and dignity. u sure lost some viewership though ;). | ||
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| Monish September 12, 2003 12:28 AM PDT I prefer nude females to males too!!! :-) | ||
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| amitl September 9, 2003 12:44 PM PDT Heh heh heh heh heh.Can't comment after laughing so much. | ||
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| Name September 8, 2003 11:09 AM PDT LOL!!! But hey...woman definitly have more complex parts then men! yikes...don't even get me started on them now...u write well...very funny...blog on!!!:) | ||
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| alpha September 8, 2003 06:24 AM PDT Morphy n W: You are welcome! Dins: Hope all your dreams come true including this one.:) G & Ranjan: haha! that was funny! Jill: Welcome and yeah! it was some experience! Wait till I have to do a self potrait. I would insult no one but myself.:) | ||
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| jillofalltrades September 7, 2003 05:04 AM PDT LOL!! Sm experience eh?? And I COMPLETELY agree with u, Gorgeous! | ||
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| Ranjan September 6, 2003 02:27 AM PDT oh my gawd!! a flabby and greying bugger with a large "equipment" (i like that!!!) ruining the reputation of all of us men...screw him (not really!)... | ||
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| Gorgeous September 5, 2003 09:47 PM PDT Ha! "Setting up their easels like there were fruits in front of them"...Must have been hilarious. I agree with you on lesson no 2. Also if I saw a nude female I would actually paint. But if i had to see a nude male (like maybe Robbie Williams), painting would be the farthest thing from my mind! | ||
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| dins September 5, 2003 02:13 PM PDT Alpha babe, ur truly up there. Drop shadows and nudes is what I'd loved to specialize in. And only, in female nudes. Then again, so would half the world population! | ||
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| wanderer September 5, 2003 12:36 PM PDT thanks for the visit... that post certainly did put a smile on my face too...thanks for that!! and I just love the heading...take care!! | ||
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| Polymorphix September 5, 2003 11:43 AM PDT Your 3 lessons made me smile. Don't remember reading or doing anything that made me smile spontaneously. Thank you. | ||
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