Pieces of the Puzzle

I have always had a love-hate relationship with my name. Right now I am in the love phase. My pet peeve against my parent’s choice is that they did no back ground check on the sexual inclination of my name. In some parts of the country it is decidedly a guy’s name. And having spent a considerable amount of my childhood in such places, I had been scarred for a huge part. Every time I had to give out my name, be it in school or at a doctor’s office, people look in disbelief and go ‘Cluck cluck! Why didn’t your parents think of a girl’s name for you? Out of the million names, they had to choose this? Poor thing!’

The woman behind the bank counter wouldn’t let go. She thought I was suffering from temporary insanity. She kept suggesting derivatives and suffixes that would make my name sound girly and realistic to her. What did she think? That I forgot my own name? I was so exasperated that I started adopting false names just to wriggle out of situations. Venkatasubbalaksmi sure sounded delicate and feminine.

Oh well, the torture didn’t end there. The biggest nuisance of my subsistence was when I had a namesake in my class who of course was a freakin boy! And my arch nemesis to boot!

Every night at home, my parents were fed up with my lament. My dad would take this opportunity to blame my mother and insist that if were left to him he would have named me Vasavadatta or Babhruvahini. *shudder* Thank God for small mythological mercies. Those characters were good for bedtime stories only.

As a kid, I actually contemplated on a court name-change. Before that could happen, we moved to a different place where some kind people told me I had a lovely name. Those wonderful people couldn’t imagine guys having such a name. That did it. I was in love with my name again.

When I decided to move to the US for my masters degree, I was emailing this girl whom I wanted to share a room with. We had everything planned, decided on the stuff to be brought and even exchanged culinary details. Finally we met. Horror of horrors! I had been corresponding with a guy! He was equally stunned to see a girl! His name being Radha Krishnan, I mistook the ‘Krishnan’ to be the last name. And he was convinced that I was an adam-apple, nuts & banana bearing guy (Gee, you guys sound like a Diwali platter)! We didn’t room in together.

I have finally come in terms with my unisex name. Its a gift from my parents and I'll keep it. Its me.

My friend is marrying a girl called Jaideep. I can only fathom how her childhood must have been. Cluck cluck!