Pieces of the Puzzle

An escapist’s theory-

Kailash was a pretty exotic place. (Note the usage of past tense). Majestic mountains in the background and Shiva and Parvathi dancing in the foreground. Man, they dance like their lives depend on it. I wish I had my camcorder. If they aren’t dancing they are watching MTV to pick up some different moves.

Then I see a rat (Ganesha’s- I presume) scurry past my feet. Yikes! I jump up on a mound and scream till my lungs burst (then I needed a lung transplant, we don’t get into that story here). Yeah, So this rat is looking at me venomously and the mound stirs!!! Jeez! Which is more dangerous, the stirring mound or the staring rat. I guess I’ll stay up here- going with the “ignorance is bliss” policy.

Many more rats congregate. They accuse me of dissecting them in my Biology lab 10 years ago. Yes, I remember. I felt bad then and I feel even shittier now. My Bio ma’am told me there were no repercussions to those actions. What would she know, she was Catholic.

I even cut some of their intestines and pretended they were bracelets before chucking them into the formaldehyde. Yeah that rat with the mole on his cheek, I remember him. He actually kicked his feet and shook his head even after I slit him completely. His heart was still pumping. Shudder shudder! Are they going to nibble on me now with revenge?

The mound I was standing on woke up and sat straight. I was thrown 50 miles away. It was Kumbhakarana waking up from his sleep.

I crash-landed in some other fancy suburb in heaven. I was glad that I escaped those killer rats before cockroaches and worms came looking for me. Here I recognized a lot of heavenly folks thanks to Amar Chitra Katha comics. Should remember to tell the good people in ACK that they did a great job. Vishnu was sitting on Adishesha, the snake, posing for some pictures to be sent to Thirupathi. Thirupathi it seems paid a heavy sum for his portfolio. I have to ask him this question that has been itching me all along. Are snakes comfortable to sit on?

But I asked him some mind boggling questions instead, When is he taking his tenth avatar? Is the political situation in the heavens affecting his policy making on earth? What does he feel about he younger generation relating to Harry Potter instead of Rama?

He was totally impressed by me and granted me a boon.

Oh when will these Gods learn! They fulfill random people's wishes, create demons and later regret.

I humbly asked to be granted to sent to earth. He okayed my wish but put in some clauses. I guess the Gods also learn from mistakes. He said he would monitor my computer activities. Mainly I would have to make sure Shiva doesn’t know. He printed out some twenty pages of rules and regulations, catches and claims. I signed the bottom and left for Blogville.

You are right Krithika, no escort service back. I had to hitch hike a ride back with Vayu.

A sadist’s theory-

Did you all really think Yama took me away? Hahahhoohahaha!!! Yama from Kai….hehehaha…wow..but still..wait..hahahahaha!

I made it up people! *clutches stomach and makes the final attempt to laugh* but is confronted with angry glares. (from Yama, ofcourse…*splutter* hahahahoohooohaha) You guys will believe just anything!

I was just fulfilling an old fetish. I always wanted to see how people would react to my death. Like, will they really miss me and stuff. So I set this up.

I think I am mighty pleased with my experiment. It has reaped results I wanted to see…exceeded expectations really. Thanks for involuntarily becoming the subjects for my path breaking research. You were the best guinea pigs I have ever tested on.

The underlying truth-