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Toilets- no more toil.

 

The office toilets (or 'restrooms' (??) as these people call it) got revamped. Just as you do your job, and the automatic flush does its job. *Swoooosh! Gurgle!* The first time that happened, I jumped up with fright. Actually thought someone was employed to do this by standing behind unsuspecting toilet goers. Relieved to find no one staring at my butt that was open to the elements, I breathed. *swoooosh gurgle* again! I lifted my hands and waved. The pot got flushed. I winked- the same thing happened. By the time I finished up with my little activity, I might have emptied the river Kauvery. Goo-ness me! The amount of water these Americans are willing to recycle ( or do they?) for the sake non-contamination from a few non-existent bacteria just bothered me. My early training in Chennai saw me through with a coke-can of water. *swoosh Gurgle* Holy crap! Shocked, I turned around again. It must have heard my heart beat.

 

I decided the whole hype about cleanliness was going too far as I washed my hands from a motion-sensor tap, received a few drops of pink liquid from the automatic soap dispenser and placed my soapy hands under the tap again for water to come out like every magician’s ‘Water of India’ trick. Wait a minute, an automatic soap dispenser?!!! Wow! This is why I don’t get a raise anymore. Then the hand-dryer dried my hands as I wondered about good old handkerchiefs neatly folded into the pockets. Did people swoon to their death after every bathroom visit in the olden days? Human intervention puts microbes in the endangered species list just after pandas-  the headlines will read soon, if this goes on.


Disconcerted about not touching any surface (except toilet paper) and finishing my work, I walked out of the automatic door in a dizzy when my colleague pointed out that I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. Eeeeew! Gross! Is there an automatic toilet paper remover? I’m NOT touching that thing!

I also need to use that ‘memory eraser gun’ (the one they had in MIB) on my colleague.


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