Pieces of the Puzzle

Floridaaaaaaaaaaaaah! My first tryst with the United States when I landed here 5 years ago to look for guys apart from pursuing a masters degree. Just remind me why I left the Godly state of shorts-in-winter to a place where outdoor swimming pools are seen only in movies. Just freakin remind me someone!!!! *ominous glare at Pi*

Anyway folks, that’s where we were last weekend soaking in the sun, splashing in the tepid waters of the Gulf of Mexico, jet sking…. in DECEMBER, mind you. I had forgotten how blissful it is not to bundle up every time you walk into the balcony to look at the stars or throw trash.

The main highlight of this vacation, apart from the weather, the relaxation, Mickey Mouse, the greenery, meeting good friends and all the blah that would put us to sleep, is the fact that I finally walked into a strip club.

Tampa being the Mecca of sexy nude lithe bodies dancing on laps of fat lusty men (you could reword that to suit yourselves), all my girlfriends jumped at the idea. A chance to see all this live! Our respective hubbies were shell shocked, especially Pi. ‘No way! I’m not going in with my wife. Sorry!’

‘Arey! What’s with you? Here’s a wife allowing you to feast your eyes and you are such a chicken…tch tch! Now all my friends will be convinced that you are scared of me. You better come.*snarl*”

‘I know I won’t get any action with you around. What’s the bluddy point?’ he asked concerned.

Oh well, I didn’t really buy that. If you know Pi, you would be convinced that it was for moral reasons and not for the cool front he was desperately trying to portray. What if his mom came to know? What if the stripper reminded him of poor Pooja Bhatt from Sadak?

Totally ignoring Pi’s point of view, all of us headed inside… after paying the entry and getting weird looks from the hefty bouncer. Aptly named, I thought… seeing how they were stripping us out of our money.  Just to let you know, this was an impromptu plan and we were all headed back to our resort from the beach. So we were in shorts, wet hair, sandy undies and salty red eyes. It came as a surprise that they even let us into the world's second best Strip Club (so they claim).

We entered. A dingy place with dim lights, mostly blue. L-shaped stage with three poles reaching all the way from the mirrored floors to the mirrored ceiling, slightly different from Disney. A flat chested, big bottomed, slightly paunched woman, completely devoid of any clothing except transparent heels, was dancing around the poles moving from one pole to another without any emotion. There were chairs placed around the central performing area where distinguished people (drooling men/lesbians), who wanted to get up close to the strippers were seated. Every now and then, the stripper made way to one of these gentlemen, did a split and grabbed her tips with her non existent boobs.

We girls were totally entertained while our guys had their eyes riveted to the football game playing on the big screen television. Another girl with a better body and better moves started her act. Some of us got daring and pulled out some dollar bills and sat on the coveted seats upfront. She came closer, smiled and thrust her boobs on my face! I would have preferred giving it to her in her hands. ‘First time? Don’t be scared. Are they your husbands?’ she asked us laughing at our finesse in placing money at inappropriate places and our husbands’ constipated grins. I turned to look at Pi. Pi got out some more change and handed it to me like my mom would do in Tirupathi to place in the arthi plate.

A few more strippers later, we were done with this place. We had a fill of boobs and butts to last us a lifetime now.

Maybe I should have tried saving one of these unfortunate women from this brutal profession. The pretty one that kissed me.